Emily has started school. It’s only nursery school, and only in the mornings, but it’s every day, and she has a uniform, and goes to a ‘real’ school.
Here’s a picture of her in her new uniform.
And later another one of Jenalyn and Zoe with her on her first morning.

The first day really didn’t go all that well.

First, I had to leave Zoe at home by herself (with Jenalyn). Now Zoe has ALWAYS had Emily with her. They went to playgroup together, to mainly music together, and they sleep in the same room. This is the first time in Zoe’s life that Emily had to go somewhere but she wasn’t allowed to go. So of course when mummy and Emily left in the morning, (and Daddy had already left) we had to just shut the door on the bawling, and go down the lift. Heart blow number one.

Then there was the school separation. Knowing Emily, I had promised her that I’d stay with her the whole first day, but I found I was the only mother there after the first mat-time session, and I wondered whether I was doing the right thing. And so, despite my promise, when the teacher suggested I try to leave her, I said I would. She said ‘walk out and give me 10 minutes, and I’ll send someone to you’. So I walked out and listened to nearly 10 minutes of screaming. At about 9 mins 30 seconds, the screams calmed down, and the teacher helper came out to get Emily’s water bottle. She said Emily would be fine, so I could just leave. Hmm. I thought I’d better, so I walked to the nearest café, and decided to come back in an hour to see how things were.

I left, and as I walked down the street, I bawled. I had, in the space of a couple of hours, abandoned both of my children. It was a very lonely walk to the café!

I had my (iced) coffee, and tried to keep myself occupied for a whole hour. Then, I found two text messages from Nigel. There had been a whole school fire alarm, and knowing what we know about Emily (i.e. that she is petrified of loud noises) he had found her nursery class at the assembly point, and had indeed found her in distress. His presence calmed her down, and he was able to walk her back to her room. But then, of course, he had to go back to his class, so that again caused another separation. And she started screaming again. That’s where he left her, that’s when he texted me. So I walked quickly back to the school, again crying most of the way.

I got back to the room, saw in the window that she was on a lap, and NOT screaming, so I sat outside, after letting someone know I was there. But lo and behold, 5 minutes later, the teacher came out with a crying Emily and said “See, there’s Mummy – I told you she’d be back!” And Emily smiled. I convinced her to go back in the classroom with me, and once inside, all the other children said to the teacher “she’s not crying anymore!”

We had a fairly good last hour of the day, and I stayed firmly in the classroom. No one even hinted that I leave!

Emily’s recollection of her first day at school surprises me, however. Despite her mother breaking her promise and leaving her, despite her crying most of the day, despite the terror of a fire alarm, AND despite getting bitten by mozzies all over her legs (and those who know her know that she’s allergic to bites, so she has huge welts covering her legs now), when asked how her first day at school was, she said “Good!”!

Today, her second day, went much better. There were no fire alarms, and I had prepared her beforehand exactly when I would leave. At said time, (and also a few times before that) she did scream, but her first words when I got her after school were “Mummy – I didn’t cry anymore!” According to the teacher, she did have a few crying sessions, but if she was proud of her non-crying, then so was I.